The word "stagnant" comes to mind, but I like to think that it's more of a fermentation. These lives we lead are pretty full, I think it must be hard to resist any sort of substance; the brain just goes.
Well that's fine, but still, fuck it all. Fuck these walls, this house and it's cracked foundation. Fuck these memories and stories, and all these heartwarming things that muddle us, constipate us, and worse.
There are things I need to see! Places I won't believe! There are women I need to meet, music I need to hear, expanses I need to explore, and quick! I'm dying. I'm falling asleep earlier each night, getting drunker quicker, and worse to boot. I am dying, I am going to work every morning and smiling, harder and harder, because that is what it takes to excel in this life: smiling harder and harder. It's a slow poison, mediocrity, and it's one I drank out of desperation but I'm not desperate anymore. I'm not desperate anymore so get me the fuck out of this town, get me out of this house and let me into world. I am bright, brighter than the sun and the stars, shining, shining, shining until who cares.
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